if the catalyst of evil is greed, then why does it exist to all living species? does it imply that all living species are evil? it contradicts the description, wherein all living species are born innocent. Are we… perhaps, looking on a wrong subject?

I’ve decided to take the new path. The final days of staying with Glocorp has come. It was really wonderful, and challenging working with the company. All the time, it taught me new things — constantly.

It was a difficult decision, and took me a week to think about it, yet my decision to leave has nothing to do with anything bad. Infact, its for something great!

I thank all employees of Glocorp for their un-ending patience and cooperation, despite being a hard-headed and persistent co-employee . And to my boss, who’s always there, supporting each and everyone within the company.

I bid you all farewell and goodluck to your future endeavors.

Long, long ago…
It was something that happened long ago…
It happened when the peach blossom tree stopped blooming…
A lot has happened…
Nor matter if it’s enjoyable… Or sad…
Nor matter if it’s funny… Or tear jerking…
They become distant memories…

Memories…

A lot of memories are gathered together…
The tree released its light red flowers again…
Springs arrival, which must be the light of hope…

But… The way I am now, I am not able sense anything…

For example, on a day in winter…
Planning to have a happy vacation…
A differen type of excitement…
The moment of intersection between the normal days and the not-so normal days…
The moment where you can smile…
Thinking of the beautiful future…
Thinking of how it will never stop…
Even if the arrangement cannot be decided, but it will still be happy…
This short term of happiness…
Now, it’s fading back into the past…

When I woke up this morning, I was thinking of what to do today. Then I remembered… I’m in a state of making a decision. Should I stay like this? or take the new path waiting for me?

It’s not that I don’t like working with the people… but dealing with pressures and constantly thinking of direction, never gave my mind a rest…

How I wish to do more things, and improve the current routine, but… It feels like something is blocking my way… (sigh)

I guess, I should take the new road and put everything… “a thing of the past”.

Elementary Life… Envy…

My elementary school-life, graduation day… I remember someone was delivering a speech at the stage… I can’t remember her name nor her speech, I can’t even be sure if I do remember it right that she’s a she, all I can remember is that she was a high school student. I felt envy from her being on the stage with the privilege and courage to speak to many people she doesn’t even know.

______

High School Life… Fooling around…

High school…  four years of my daily life, routines, chores… was the most enjoyable and frustrating. Just like everyone else, an average young man who faced academics daily with a lot of challenges. I can remember being a naughty… turning off the circuit breaker of the English building… the lights gone off… hearing lots of students shouting, teh!… I felt, a thrill and excitement. I ran off quickly below, and went outside the building. In a few minutes, I heard a familiar voice… a voice of our wicked history teacher, near the circuit break where I was, at the 2nd floor of the building and questioning students, nearby. She was so loud, that I heard her from outside the building. . Feeling a little guilty… I went back, and told her that it was me who did it. Her hand was so fast that I hadn’t able to dodge it. It was too late for me to think…in a fraction of second, she was already holding at my ear… I remember the feeling… as if she, almost rip it off my head. She dragged me, and released on to it, just when we got in English faculty room at the ground floor. My feeling of little embarrassment gone big, when my favorite English teacher saw and looked at me straight… in to my eyes… asking… why?… All I did is, kept myself quite… silent… I didn’t even ask for apology.

_____

College Life… Curiosity…

The first day… I told myself that I will be serious and straighten up my self to find a direction… and I did.

I studied furiously, despite not having my own computer. But it wasn’t really that long, and I was able to get to touch and tinker with computer, when my cousin took me along to a neighbor’s place where he rent a computer. That was the first computer shop I entered. With that, I was able to study more about computers. This allowed me to further learn computer programming.

My 2nd year was the hi-tech year. We are now allowed to enter the computer lab, even if its not our time. I took advantage of it, and tinker with Windows 95. unfortunately, our Administrator intalled a crowd control security program which limits the applications that can be run. That time, I was trying to run Winzip 6 or so. With my curiousity and eagerness to run it, I tried experimenting and was able to run the computer to safemode, where the security control is disabled. I then run winzip and other programs. I was cautious enough that I’m only doing it when our Admin was busy at his computer alone.

One day, I was so engrossed at doing it and running newly downloaded programs took my guard down. When my senses returned… our Admin was already behind me looking at my screen. I was surprised and too nervous that I cant even move properly. I move my head and looked at our Admin. He was looking at me curiously. In a few seconds, he asked me how I did it. I was feeling awkward that time, that I don’t even know why he’s asking me, and I was expecting to be scolded. With my feeling in shambles, I still answered properly. He gave a surprised expression, and asked me to not do it again, or I will get banned at entering the computer lab. In a month, I didn’t enter at the computer lab.

Another year has passed… time is really getting faster… and faster. Oh well, like we could do anything about it!

What’s done is done… the damage has been done ( unforgettable phrase isn’t? ). That’s how it is.

Nothing changed much, really. Realizing everything were running at the wrong direction. After all, it was the first the time he became clueless and foolishly-selfish-moron.

It can’t be helped, that’s what happens to loosers anyway. To completely realize that feelings are just a motive of selfishness. Bearing it alone will not give you a guarantee that you’ll execute a right action. Stick it to your head… if there was a book available for it… the heck, it would be a history!

Goodbye to Year 2008, it was real fun being with you… wasn’t it? how I wished you never came. (sarcasm)

Hello Year 2009, I hope you’ll do much better (by better, I meant something good or positive) than your old sibling.

Happy New Year everyone… may you all be happy!